So I’ve finallly returned to the States after three months ministering in Asia. Thought it’d be good to update this site…..hahah a long overdue update. So below are the lyrics to all the songs on the CD and the story behind each song. I’ll put on chord charts soon….i promise!!! : ) bless you guys!
1. New Leaf
written: 2005
story: making the decision to not pursue certain relationships are difficult yet so worth it. this was written my senior year in college during a time when i decided to try my best to choose God rather than fulfill my heart’s hunger by a guy. ultimately, we are made for God. Life makes a lot more sense when God is on center stage.
Cut myself into pieces it doesn’t want fit into
Break ribs reach for the heart I want to dispose
Knock the wind out turn the lights way way down, way way down
Till all of you is no longer all of me.
Gonna stretch wrinkles in my brain
till every word falls away from me
Dust of the prints you left on my brow
hush the silhouettes still flooding flooding my speech
my mind and heart stripped of all the flesh
do I mean this distance I stretch b/t you and me
don’t wanna find out if you really lie but you already know too much
dividing me into portions didn’t realize I fancy
(and everyday is another day I’m leaving you behind)
got used to crying alone
but then you came in
wanting to cry in the same rhythm my chest breaks in
but how long are you going to hold these sighs
I pregnant the air, how long?
This lived in silence still keeps
the aftertaste of words you meant
I no longer want
Cause there’s more to life than broken hearts
More to songs than breaking scars
2. Details
written: 2005
story: After attending my church’s conference where Jaeson Ma spoke on gazing upon the beauty of the Lord, I decided to take the dive and set apart 2 hours a day to pray. It was so difficult! After praying through everything I could think of, I started worshipping…..then this song came out. God is everything…and more!
You’re not just the breath i breathe
but the lungs i breathe with
the air that makes the size of my heart increase
You’re not just the heart i chase
but the blood that lives in me
the vein connecting all dismembered pieces
Your hand embraced my heart with one touch
Your eyes hold all of me
thank You for being so You and so not me
3. My Song
written:1/25/07
story: during the Onething internship, the Lord spoke to me and told me that I am His song, the most beautiful song He’s ever written.
I wrote a song
The most beautiful song
And it was you
And it was you
I wrote a song
The most beautiful song
And it was you
And it was you
It’s still you
Still you
Do you believe me? When I sing this over you
Do you believe me? When I sing
I’ll help your heart believe
So sing my beautiful song, sing
So sing most beautiful beautiful song, sing
Sing for me
4. Visible
written:5/3/07-6/20/07
story: kinda self explanatory. When I came to IHOP, I realized that God sees me at all times. He has had His eyes on me before the foundations of the earth. Even when I’m struggling with my identity and want to forget myself, even when others forget about me, God never forgets. His eyes are always upon me. His love is faithfully healing and freeing my heart from darkness.
When no one was looking
You found me
When I was trying to forget myself
You remembered me
Called me Your delight
Called me Your joy
Clothed me with Your delight
Loved these ashes ashes into beauty
You walked into my darkness
convinced me I belong in the light
You found me all numb inside
And You held me
‘til I had tears to cry….
Til I came alive
5. Nearing Home
written: June 08
story behind the song: This was the first love song I’ve ever successfully written. It was one of those songs that came out so easily! Somehow the end credits of “Prince Caspian” birthed the idea. I ran home, grabbed my journal after the movie and started scribbling. The next day, I found some chords, (probably led by the Holy Spirit) then a new song was born! Though for awhile I was under the assumption that it needed to dispose of, due to the fact that the relationship ended, yet a few weeks ago God opened my eyes to whom this song is truly written for. Throughout this rough season, Jesus has been kindly revealing to me that He is the only One that I ultimately need. He is the only one worthy of my whole heart and will never give up on me in spite of myself. One day when I was praying with a couple of friends, He simply said to me, “it’s for ME!” So I started to sing the chorus during our prayer time. Now this song has found its home! Hope it blesses you to find your home in the embrace of Christ.
It started off as just one tear
開始一滴淚水落下
That tear traced and grew to a thought
那淚水種下了意~念~
That thought blossomed with desire
那意念開花成渴望
I can no longer disguise
我再也無法委~裝~
I tried to make my heart undo
我想要使我心解開
This knot You tie my senses into
是祢讓我的心揪著
I tried to pretend I don’t need Your smiles
祢笑容 我努力假裝不需要
I nearly convinced myself
我真是自欺欺人
Chorus:
But I need you
我需祢
I want you
渴望祢
Next to me the rest of my life
要祢一生在我身旁
Bridge:
with your eyes looking into mine
祢的雙眼看著我
with your hands intertwined with mine
祢的雙手纏著我
my steps behind your steady lead
我要緊緊跟隨祢的帶領
running along with heaven’s heartbeat
快跑跟隨天路的蹤影
6. Pain grows beautiful things
date written: hmm….i think April/May 08
story behind it: Through various relationships last year, God took me through a season where He began to put His finger on past wounds that didn’t heal correctly. The pain was so great I wanted to avoid the person with every ounce of my freewill I can manage to exert. Yet something in me kept on holding on. Miraculously, God used the situation to bring me out of my little isolating cave where my heart was beginning to fester and harden. Inside the walls I erected around me in effort to protect myself from future pains, my heart was suffocating. So slowly, God gently guided my heart into His light through friendships and used the soil of pain, to grow beautiful things. “He has torn, but HE will heal us; He has stricken, but He will bind us up” Hosea 6:1
Verse 1:
It’s a mystery
真是奇妙
The way You perfect me
祢如此造就我
With silence and trials
用沉默 試煉
And deepest breaking
深處的破碎
It’s a mystery
真是奇妙
The ways of refining
祢如此煉淨我
With Your fire and floods
用祢烈火洪水
All so necessary
是如此有智~慧
Chorus:
Oh can you hear the sound Of tears that grow joy, grow joy
看啊 淚水澆灌出來的喜樂~ 喜~樂
Whoever thought that wounds and pain
真不可思意 痛苦能夠
can resurrect resurrect beautiful, beautiful beautiful, beautiful things
復~活~ 成 美麗 美麗 美麗 美麗生命
verse 2:
It’s a mystery
真是奇妙
How Your rod comforts me
祢杖安慰了我
Always calling me higher
祢總是提升我心
Than I dreampt I could be
超過我所夢想
It’s a mystery
真是奇妙
How You hold me
你手緊握住我
love that never ever, gives up on me
不止息的愛 永不放棄我
7.Hold Me
written on: 1/18/09
story behind the song: so i started formulating this song last summer through a cry of my heart for God to “hold me” to His Word. There are countless times when I know God’s truth with my mind yet my heart and my flesh doesn’t abide by God’s Word. I began praying and crying out to God, “hold me with Your Word, with Your truth” all the time…until Your Word is written into the depths of me.
Let Your burning hold me
願祢烈火環繞我
Let Your Word hold me
願祢話語握住我
Let Your light let Your life, let Your light, let Your life hold me hold me
願祢光 祢生命 祢的光 祢生命 環繞著我
When I’m found faltering
當我徬徨時候
Hold me
擁抱我
When I’m found wandering
當我迷失時候
Hold me
擁抱我
When I’m found falling
當我絕望時候
hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me
擁抱我, 擁抱我 , 擁抱我, 擁抱我
With the mysteries hidden in Your heart
用祢內心深藏的奧秘
With the secrets kept inside Your love
用祢愛中深藏的秘密
With the whispers so easily missed
用祢微小細語的聲音
Keep me in the place of knocking seeking asking, asking
保守我 不斷向祢 叩門、尋求、懇求~祢
So come pierce divide hold all of me.
刺入剖 開 抓住我心
Conform me to Your Word
祢話語 使我更新
