maybe this will help some of you out?…hehe

1. Switchfoot’s newest cd, “Hello Hurricane”

2. Julia Child’s cook book, “Mastering the Art of French Cooking”

3. A WARM mist humidifier

that’s all i can think of : P that are within reasonable prices hehe…

fire
more Lord
wine
WHAO!
Ha! ha!
power!
joy

any others you’d like to add?

As I perused through February 2009’s National Geographic magazine, I find evidence to support Stuart Greaves’ statement, that poverty is preparing the world for the Antichrist. Poverty brings out the worst in humanity, drawing out the sin hidden within the human nature. At times we in the west would like to hold a more idealistic view on poverty and its ramifications. The truth is stands; the reality of poverty is terrifying.

Most North Koreans who are able to gather the nerve or dare to hope to escape into China are received with corruption and deception rather than the haven they dreamt. Women make up roughly three fourths of those escaping North Korea since they’re more able to slip away from their jobs compared to males who are assigned military, factory or farming duties. It is also easier for women to find work in China once they’ve crossed the border. But many of these women who are promised a refuge in China by brokers are instead tricked into the sex industry or are trafficked as brides to Chinese farmers.

There are Christian organizations assisting these individuals to not only escape North Korea but also the enslavement they find themselves once in China. Yet once these land in South Korea, difficulties such as cultural differences, the severe lack of education and skills, experiencing years of malnutrition and witnessing sufferings in their own lives and within their family members cripple many of these refugees from fully assimilating into the South.

We need to lift up this issue in prayer and ask the Lord to break in with His power. There are many things we can do with our own strength, but only God can transform hearts and bring about real lasting justice. Jesus, bring salvation to China and North Korea.

To read the article I referenced: National Geographic, Escaping North Korea

Testimonies (included in Lou Engle’s latest update. For more info/testimonies go to: www.ihop.org/watch)

We have received many testimonies about how the Lord has been touching other college campuses, churches, and houses of prayer. Read below how the IHOPU student awakening has touched students at Wheaton College and Asbury College.

The Holy Spirit moves at Wheaton College
In our dorm tonight at Wheaton College, we were watching the webstream. The warmth of the love of God filled the room. We prayed fervently as He released His Spirit of intercession upon us. His kindness led to repentance and we experienced a breakthrough that has never occurred before!

The Holy Spirit moves at Asbury College
A group of us at Asbury met to watch the live webstream. Over 30 students were present. God poured out His Spirit in such amazing ways. The Spirit filled people on campus who used to be quiet and reserved. God has removed that spirit of timidity and replaced it with one of power. We’ve broken out of the Asbury House of Prayer. Tonight there’s singing and rejoicing in the streets. One person was healed of lifelong blood clots, another of knee pain, and someone else of a stomach virus. There’s so much more. I can’t even begin to describe it all in words.

Benji’s update from the Philippines concerning human trafficking documentary Exodus Cry (Ministry at IHOP fighting the evil of human trafficking) is working on called Nefarious. The truth of human trafficking, a painful reality that is repeated daily in the lives of many is sobering. The nation in focus currently on the Exodus Cry website is Manila, Philippines. We’ve been contending for houses of prayer to be raised up there and proclaiming God’s Lordship over that nation.

God, raise up Your houses of prayers in Southeast Asia to combat the darkness with Your marvelous light.

A movie I watched this summer that really made the issue of human trafficking that more real to me is Taken. I highly recommend it. Just be aware that it’s pretty intense.

The wine of the Lord (joy,renewal, healing) began to stir starting from the first year Apostolic Preaching students at IHOPU (IHOP’s seminary) this past Wednesday at 9am. It all began at student chapel the previous Wednesday (November 4) after a student shared a healing testimony of how the Lord healed her digestive system that has afflicted her every since she was 15 which commenced after she was nearly raped. This particular young lady has never shared this incident with others due to the shame and condemnation she used to suffered from the traumatic experience.

Leaders at IHOPU felt led by the Spirit after this testimony to call for repentance of self hatred resulting from similar situations of sexual assault or molestation. Many students, male and female came forward to confess, repent and receive healing from the Lord. Males who were once the perpetrators in similar situations in the past, who continue to suffer from the accusations of the enemy also came forward to confess, repent and receive forgiveness.

The next day after student chapel (Thursday), the prayer room was filled with the joy of the Lord. The joy overflowing into dance and worship reflected the promise of God,
“Even them I will bring to My holy mountain,
And make them joyful in My house of prayer.
Their burnt offerings and their sacrifices
Will be accepted on My altar;
For My house shall be called a house of prayer for all nations.” Isaiah 56:7

This has been one of the main points we at the House of Prayer in Kansas City have been contending for, that joy will fill His house. This February, the Lord gave several leaders at IHOP including Mike Bickle dreams that He is going to bring about a season of renewal here. The wine of the Lord represents the healing power of God. A good past example of what an outpouring of wine looks like is the Toronto outpouring.

There has been multiple testimonies of healing pouring out even to those connecting to what’s happening here through the webstream. I encourage you all to plug in every night from 6pm-12am (central time) at this link or simply going to IHOP’s website: www.ihop.org. For those of you who subscribe to IHOP’s webstream, you can also access the evening events through the webstream.

Our heart posture, is to maintain intimacy with the Lord through spending private time in His Word and in the secret place as well as celebrating what He’s doing publicly. We expect great things from our Father, who gives freely and loves generously. I pray that God will bless and encounter You with the power of His magnificent love.

Funny how the Lord permits pain to enter into the human heart. One of the main questions both unbelievers and believers alike ask is if God is a good God, why would He allow evil and pain to exist in the world. But I believe the more important question to concern ourselves with, is where are we allowing that pain to lead us?

The process of sanctification, coming into Christ-likeness, is an option the Lord offers us–an invitation to the dance of life where He leads us with His strength and we follow. A choice that acknowledges the truth that we cannot dance alone. Ultimately, this is an invitation: an extended hand of a gentleman to the lady he adores. If we choose to refuse Him, He will not be intrusive and rude–He will walk away because He respects the dignity He has gifted us with, the dignity of the choice to love Him. Yet even when rejected, Jesus gently waits, patiently, for another opportunity. He also allows our choices that lead us away from the fullness of joy He has and desires for us. Choices that will eventually corner us, pressure us into seeing the truth, that only in Him is freedom found and our hearts satisfied.

I believe this to be one of the major reasons why it was the social rejects during Jesus’ time who were audience to most of His earthly ministry. These ones, despised by society, knew the true state of their hearts, they were well acquainted with the pain they live in everyday. The woman who reached out in desperation after having non-stop bleeding for years knew she was bleeding. The two blind men who would not stop shouting “Have mercy on us! Son of David!” knew they were blind and in need of Jesus. The mother who begged for the “crumbs” knew she needed Jesus (Matt 15). The pain in their hearts was too tangible. The twisted faces of society, the laughter and comments everyday they invoked were constant daily reminders of their condition.

Do we truly know how desperately we need Jesus? Do we know the true conditions of our hearts? Our depravity? Do we cry out to Him for help? Cry out to the Only One who can help us in the way we need? He has given us the Spirit to cry out to Him. But things we run to–insufficient comforts to suppress our pain often muffle our Spirits’ cries.

At times, in His kindness the Lord will illuminate the reality of our depravity. In simpler terms, depravity means the true state of our sinful nature. In a situation like mine, when pain surrounds me at every side, when it’s crashing forth from the inside of me, all the things I depend on instead of God surfacing unapologetically, giving me a wake-up call of the true condition of my heart. Instead of wholehearted devotion to God, which would mean that I depend entirely upon Him, I shop, rely on people, pursue the affections of man, keep myself busy, shove my headphones on when the Lord tries to speak to me. His nearness meant facing the reality burning in my heart.

I know some of you as you read this already have responses such as, “poor kid, she’s being so hard on herself in a difficult situation such as this.” Or “it’s ok to depend on people, God did create communities and fellowship for us to help each other.” When I’m talking about relying on people too much, I don’t mean going to people for truth to be spoken into my life, I mean in all honesty running to people who I know will pat my self pity and fill a void only Jesus can and has the right to fill; basically, sin.

I found myself couple of weeks ago mad at the Lord for the suffering I’m enduring. I felt like I’ve simply been going from one heartbreak to the next. I demanded happiness rather than the pain of suffering. As my friend Tien prayed for me on the phone, the Lord spoke to me. He said, “do not call good evil and evil good. For what I have allowed you to go through, is good.” Then, He asked me, the most difficult question to answer, “am I enough for you Sunny.” I wished I gave the “right” answer. But, instead I responded with honesty, “no, You’re not enough God and I don’t even have strength to ask You to help me desire for You to be enough.”

To say the least, that week was NOT a happy week. Waking up to how my heart still disagrees with God’s good and perfect purposes for me was a hard thing to face. I cried a lot, constantly condemning myself. Through meeting with Jess and Alice, they helped me realize the simple steps to walk out of sin, stop condemning myself and receive His love freely. I’ll share that in the next post. Their teaching and wisdom on breaking oneself away from condemnation has revolutionized my walk with Christ.

This week, as the Lord begins to fill His house of prayer with joy, He’s fixed my heart to the truth that He disciplines those He loves. He is not beating me, lashing me with His Words, rather He is lifting my head to look into His eyes that are welling with tears due to His overwhelming desire for me to have the best and not settle for mere remedies that will not suffice nor heal my broken heart. I have a good good Father in Heaven, who loves me, who fights for me and desires for me to be awakened to the truth of my infinite worth in His heart so I will desire the best. All He is asking me to do, is to receive. As I posture my heart during this outpouring of the wine of God (renewal and refreshing healing) to simply receive, I feel the Father’s love around me.

The most difficult thing for humanity, is to stop striving to earn God’s love, and The hardest thing for humanity, is simply receive the truth that He’s a God who gives freely.

1 “Ho! Everyone who thirsts,
Come to the waters;
And you who have no money,
Come, buy and eat.
Yes, come, buy wine and milk
Without money and without price.
2 Why do you spend money for what is not bread,
And your wages for what does not satisfy?
Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good,
And let your soul delight itself in abundance.
3 Incline your ear, and come to Me.
Hear, and your soul shall live;
And I will make an everlasting covenant with you— (Isaiah 55:1-3)

check out Laura’s first CD : ) she has the most beautifully sweet voice. One of the worship leaders at IHOP.

A few days after Grace passed away, my pastor at IHOP, Jess, sent me a text with a prophetic word, instructing me to run to the Lord in this time of difficulty. His words caught me red-handed, once again running to man rather than to God with the vast ocean of pain swaying to and fro in me. Even now, I know I’m only standing at the edges of all that’s hidden inside. It’s this great unknown, this uncharted territory that I’m fearful of. What I long for are step-by-step instructions on how to let my heart break, how to let go of Grace, but the truth is, I need to walk this unexplored path with God.

Yet, above all my fears and anxiety I hear the Lord singing over me, “we will overcome.” These three words have turned up in various worship songs throughout the years. Many times we find ourselves with our arms raised, eyes closed, heart openly singing those words yet the meaning in these four syllables alludes us. The “we” in the phrase does not mean that we as a human entity will overcome, rather confessing that God and I will overcome. Through past experiences, what this ends up looking like is God doing 99% of the work while I do 1%. But in the end, He says to me, “well done! I’m so proud of you Sunny!” Where then I am left stunned, confused and in awe at His extravagant delight in me.

This is exactly what happened during the previous year. Last season, when I spent months limp at the feet of God, crying out to Him to help me and help me and help me. In the end of that season what did He say to me? As the wind and water swirled in dance together outside the fragile glass doors of Bus-7, a coffee shop in Tainan, Taiwan, God said to me, “see! I told you it was worth it!” Those words broke my eyes into grateful tears of agreement. Each drop of tear shouting thankfulness to God for His perfect leadership in protecting me from a relationship that would only break me, rather than grow me into who God lovingly intended me to be. The relationship that I couldn’t even recognize my heart crying out for me to end because I was that unfamiliar with my own heart. Believing in delusion that somehow it will save me rather than God. In the end, in His light, I saw the light, exposing all the holes I convinced myself into.

Now, I’m standing at yet another door. God’s hand is extending out to me through the little opening, inviting me into His rivers of living water to carry me through this typhoon. I’m scared of what I will discover. I’m afraid of seeing the dark things, the hidden things in my heart. But what I’m dreading the most, is seeing myself through God’s eyes. You see in reality, I believe that it’s actually easier and more natural to hide in the deception that God despises us, than to walk into the truth, the light of His great affection for us. Because believing in Him, embracing His light means trusting everything into His hands and letting go of the death grip we have over our broken hearts. It means seeing the reality of our own depravity, the truth of God’s holiness.

My friend Nienke was sharing with me a revelation she recently received from God. Sometimes when we’ve shut our hearts down for so long, tucked everything in the dark corners inside us, we lose who we are. We’ve stuffed our heart’s responses down so deep due to life circumstances and the lack of time that we’ve muted the song the Lord put in our hearts to sing. Personally for me, I’ve shut my heart down because I’ve always had a mold in my mind of who I’m supposed to be, not seeking after God’s dreams for me.

Since moving to Kansas City, I’ve tried to drown and wash out who I once was because who I once was, even as a Christian was so entangled in the darkness of the world. I would drive to Chicago every weekend when I was teaching to look inside myself in dingy pretentious coffee shops of Wicker Park, trying to resurrect something real from poetry and rhyme.

These past three years here in Kansas City, I’ve spent struggling and wrestling through who I’m suppose to be, what I’m supposed to do. Not realizing, that when I put my heart in God’s hands of love, His fire will burn away the dross, the false things of who I am. It is then; that the gold He has placed inside me will be revived. God, help me rest in Your love for me and simply be, and live.

If you’re in a Christian community you find yourself inevitably dialoging about relationships, love, and marriage. You’ve asked everyone about his or her perspectives on love. You’ve googled the definition and differences between courtship and dating. You’ve accumulated a good-sized library of Christian dating books (don’t be ashamed if one of those includes Joshua Harris’ “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”). Yet through all the conversations on this stimulating topic over the years, God Himself is defining love for me.

I realized I’ve always approached the Lord with a notebook and pen in hand, ready to write down the “ten commandments” of love. But, my Father in Heaven does not want me to hand this decision to Him to decide all on His own, He wants my involvement. He wants to awaken me to who I am and help me be honest with Him concerning what I want. Oftentimes, I just want God to tell me either the guy is the one or not. Previously, God would reveal it to me very quickly, but lately He’s been inviting me into being open with Him. I find the Lord holding me close to His heart, letting me discover His desires along with my own, awakening my heart that I’ve quieted for too long.

I also realized how in the past I’ve fallen in love with the idea of love, defined by movies and secular love songs rather than God. God is love! He is the definition of love. Him creating the world from nothing, His passionate devotion to Israel, the sacrifice of His Son on the Cross for humanity, that is love. There are plenty of moments filled with romance and roses, yet I must not forget the moments of blood, sweat and tears that color His definition of the word.

The most important thing the Lord has taught me concerning love is the importance of talking to Him and the truth that He is more protective of my heart than me. He will take care of me. These simple yet profound truths quiet my fears and give me increasing confidence in who my God is. He is so good to me.