So instead of trying to climb Mount Everest in one day and try to write down the ENTIRE story of how the Lord brought Dustin and I together, I thought I’d break it into smaller doable segments so I don’t take a month to compose the entire thing. Knowing the perfectionist hidden inside me, I decided that this would be the best plan. So here it is, Lord help me! I am now sitting in front of my computer with a pounding headache but with great determination to post something tonight!

For me, (I’ll try to get Dustin to share his side of the story too) it started two years ago. At that time, my relationship with another guy had just ended. It was a pretty messy breakup. No closure, lots of tears and unanswered questions prying upon me daily. The Lord took me into a season of hiddeness, which I gladly said yes to. I didn’t want to be close to anyone, especially to men. But I began to pray and seek the Lord with desperation for some hope that there is someone He has in mind for me. I desired a word that I can hold onto to endure the pain…..some indication that I would not die a bitter old spinster with thousands of crocheted quilts surrounding me (not that there’s anything the matter with crocheted quilts, they’re quite beautiful but you get the jist).

One night in November, He answered this prayer through a dream. When I woke up from the dream, all that I could recollect from it was that the Lord showed me a man. I could not see his face, nor remember anything about his features that can help me identify who he is if I saw him. One thing the Lord did highlight to me in the dream was his kindness. This characteristic in the man God is preparing for me, gave me hope in the dark days that followed.

During that season, I asked the Lord another question, “how long will it be until I meet the man You have for me?” In a split second, God answered, “in two years.” At that time, two years seemed like an eternity plus some. Surprisingly, two years passed by pretty quickly.

A few months later after God has spoken those things to me, He asked me what I desire in my future husband. I dialogued with Him for a bit on the subject, picking aspects from my two previous ex-boyfriends that I enjoyed. As I concluded my thoughts, God suggested to me, “what about kindness.”

Before that day, I honestly have never thought to ask for that character trait. On my “must” list for my future husband, kindness simply did not make the cut. Most of what I wrote down as requirements consisted of godliness, passionate devotion to Christ but rarely did I think about how those characteristics would translate into a day-to-day relationship. Looking back, I see how I was too fixated on outward manifestations of holiness and did not value character the same way God does.

True holiness is not that easy to detect. Like a parable, it is those who will take the time to search out a matter that will be able unveil the truth and beauty hidden inside an individual. Jesus was perfectly sinless, bore witness to His Father, but much of the world rejected Him. Similarly, I believe many of us, myself included do not see what God sees in His children. We are so fixated on people’s outward appearances, clothing and talents. But this is a subject reserved for another day.

Fast forward to this Spring. The two year mark was quickly approaching….and I of course, true to my human nature was growing increasingly anxious. Trying my hardest to trust in the Lord, my eyes began to scan and look for “the man.” I grew increasingly irritated each day “he” did not show up.

My friend at the time had recently delve into a serious relationship after the Lord clearly confirmed to her that His desire for them. After she shared her story with me one night, I was struck by how Jess, my spiritual father/leader instructed her to ask the Lord for His “the man list” for her. So the next day, I began to ask the Lord for His “list” for me based on characteristics I see in Jesus that causes my heart to come alive. Below was what I came up with that day:

1. love the nations as Jesus does (Psalm 2:8)
2. joyful, anointed with the oil of gladness (Heb 1:8-9)
3. washes me with the Word of God. Loves me as Christ loves the Church (Eph 5)
4. patient and kind (1 Cor 13)
5. knows the Father, does what the Father is doing (John 5:19)
6. Live by every word from the mouth of God (Deut. 8:3)
7. Creative/an appreciation for the arts

This is where I will conclude and pick up next time…time to get ready for bed and read some Elizabeth Elliott before I fall asleep. Yeah!

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